So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
