I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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