Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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