I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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