Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
