Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
