you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
