I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
