Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
