is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
