Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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