real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The Olympian is in my bed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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