Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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