Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
