You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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