we have pet lesbian snakes
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
