She is in my trunk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
