There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
