So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My cat gives me a boner
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
