Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
last night I used snow as a chaser
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize