just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
