Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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