what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
