if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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