true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need water and some morals
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
