they need to just BURY HIM!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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