I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
