Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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