Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
