im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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