I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
