She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
