wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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