College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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