Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
