Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
