no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize