This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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