My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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