Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i've created a new STD.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
