This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
