i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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