You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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