1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
