You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
