Me too!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
