girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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