Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Can you repeat that, but with context?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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