all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
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Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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