Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
