I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
