u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize