i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
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You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
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Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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