Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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