sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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