Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
