he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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