What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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