when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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