Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize