I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Im part way to drunk.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
