weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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