I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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